Yes, getting people in the body can be a new place to explore .... and, at first can be a bit challenging as you find your own way. The more you play in your own 'sensate' world the easier it will be to access others.
This is such a great questions, I'd love to hear from others how they get people out of their head and into their body.****Here's some tips from me ... AND ... with Madeleine's yoga and brandy's bodywork, they will have some others as well.
For me, if I'm working individually with someone, I'll stayed attuned to whether they are comfortable in this arena. (It is surprising how many people aren't ). For many, it can be more intimidating that singing in public. When I was in my 20's I had a therapist who asked me to move on the floor and roll around, just letting my body move as it would like. Well, feeling a bit awkward, but trusting it was safe, I did.. kind of, not fully trusting the process. And her response, "Wow, I thought you'd move more easily". Well, that shut me down. It was years before I would really open myself in that way. So many people have been 'judged' about what they feel and how they show it, it can be intimidating at first.
---For some people I will start with just having them see the whole deck and draw two cards that reflect where they are in their vision (or some other appropriate question). I'll then start my powerful questions there.
- For example:
- Once they draw a card (or two) I'll say... "which one relates most to the stage you are at today with your vision?"
- They might say: (let's use the tree image --- it's so perfect for new ventures) "I feel really excited but also feel like I'm groping in the dark."
- I'd then say: "Where would you like to start ---with the excitement or with the groping?"
- They might say: "Let's look at the excitement, it's been the first time I've ever felt that something is right, but what if it's not. (yes... here is the crux of many people's challenge when they are on the cusp of something thrilling but are also afraid that they might fail)
- I'd then say: Tell me about the excitement. How is it different than what you've felt in the past?
- They might say: I feel alive in a way I can't really explain.
- I'd then say: You're so right. It can be hard to explain it. Can you tell me where you feel it in your body?
- Conversely: If they wanted to focus on their 'little tree' ...
- I might say: "tell me about the little tree."
- They might say: (Kate this would be great to think about what you actually might say). Well, it feels like its hanging out without any real clear structure?
- I might say: "What does it feel like?"
- They might say: "Well, it feels pretty darn confusing and a bit scary."
- I might say: "So, for the moment, let it be the boss. What support does it need from the big tree to feel more confident."
- They might say: "hmmmm.... it wants to know the big tree has a plan".
- I might say: "Is there anything else it needs to know?" (This way we are finding out about the issues and then choosing which ones are most important.. I might ask this 4-5 times ...just to see what else is hiding behind the curtain wanting to be heard)
- They will most likely: List a bunch of things.
- I might then say: If the little tree felt these were addressed, how would it feel?
- They might say: (KATE how would it feel?)
- I might say: Great: which one (s) do we want to focus on first?
For new people, this can be a safe and comforting way in. Once they feel it's okay, they will be more able to the next time.
And, with the second form, we started to move into the feeling of the fear...but renamed it by focusing on the support it needed.
And, remember .... this is not a script but rather a joining of the intention to begin to shape the vision and action in honor of the full self?
---For others ...
I will start shuffling the deck.
As I do so, I'll begin to match their energy.
I might ask them to take a moment and just allow some place other then their head to choose a card.
They might give me an odd look.
I'll say, "Yeah, I know, it's kind of strange. But, just for fun, what part of you would love to choose. Take a moment and just see what your body says."
I'll watch and just notice. If they say, "I don't know"
I'll share what I saw ... like, "I know it might sound weird, but I noticed your hand shift"(or whatever part I saw shifting. Sometimes they can't yet 'feel' it but you can see it).
In coaching we call it ... going down a tunnel. There are no 'right' or 'wrong' tunnels... the key is to find a way in beyond judgments to explore the core essence of them rather than the critical thinking mind. (This is somewhat different than therapy in that I'm looking for the 'what of the inspiration' and ' where in the body' and the 'how of the action...for them'.
kate, let me know if this helps and what you'd like more of?
Everyone else, what thoughts do you have?
No comments:
Post a Comment